Inner approval, as opposed to getting external approval or permission from others, can be one of the most radically empowering strategies one can make. Instead of wishing for them to understand you, love you, appreciate you, see how good you are, or see your value, why not do this for yourself? This, in a way, is the world of affirmations and positive thinking. What is the message that you long to hear from another? Is there someone in your life, or was there someone in your life, that you wished had said, “I love you,” or “I’m so proud of you,” or “You can be whatever you want to be. I believe in you” ? What if you started saying this to yourself? On a daily basis. Whenever you felt you needed to hear it. As often as you like.

Being willing to do this requires that we let go of controlling another person and needing somebody else to show up a certain way in order for us to be okay. We take back our power this way. And the good news is that we can realize, through doing this simple activity, that we really are in charge of how we feel. One of the biggest obstacles that people face when they make changes in their lives is the worry about what others might think or that they might be judged or rejected in some way. And this does and can happen. But if we are no longer tied to another’s approval, because we are consistently giving that to ourselves, then we are more free to move towards our own dreams regardless of what others think.

Sometimes making diet changes can feel this overwhelming. Especially if you live with a family that is used to a certain way of eating and your changes will automatically affect them and be seen by others. Privacy is a luxury, and rarely the case with food. Eating is a social experience and when we say “no” to certain foods that are prevalent in our culture and community it can feel like we are saying “no” to the person who made that food, or bought that food, or isn’t ready themselves to think about their own health changes they could make.

We don’t have to broadcast our decisions to the world, but we don’t have to ignore our own needs because some parts of the world will be uncomfortable with our decisions. As human beings we are hard-wired to maintain the status quo, and as evolutionary beings, we are hard-wired to change and grow and learn. Sustainable changes are based in compassion and love for ourselves. And when we give ourselves the inner approval we need to make our changes, then it becomes easier to allow others their reactions. Becoming more conscious and awake to our own patterns and choices does disturb the community. This can be why it feels so challenging to make changes, even though we know those changes would benefit us.

That disturbance to the system we are in (whether a family, a relationship, a work environment, a peer group, or otherwise) is uncomfortable. It just is. Altering the status quo disrupts things and that disruption is always an invitation for all involved to let go wherever they need to let go. Wherever we are gripping onto a person or a way of life, or what we have decided brings us security, we have the opportunity to let go of this internal gripping when we feel disturbed or discontent. This is a state of mind. We are always getting opportunities to move from a state of mind of control, to a state of mind of allowing. Giving ourselves the messages we long for about who we are and what we are capable of, is the road to allowing. Allowing ourselves to grow and change as we already know we need to, and allowing others to be exactly where they are on their own journey is freedom.

Change is exciting and new and it is also about letting go and moving onward. We don’t have to have this all figured out. We only need to listen to ourselves and be our own best friend, give ourselves the encouragement and support we truly want and need. As we do this, we gain momentum and clarity and purpose. These are the cornerstones of empowerment. And the beginning of leadership. So, lead the way. You know where to go, I know you do.

For example, check out this Ted talk on how sugar affects the brain. We understand how too much sugar causes addictive patterns in our brain because we receive a dopamine release (a feel good neurotransmitter) after consuming it, and when we consume high amounts of sugar regularly, we start to lose our tolerance for it, causing us to crave more to get the same effect.  In this way, sugar, in high amounts, acts like a drug to our system.  

This is important to understand because sugar is added to so many foods.  In fact, it is hidden in foods you wouldn’t necessarily think would contain sugar.  Cakes, cookies, and treats are obviously sugary foods, but did you know sugar is also added to things we might eat on a daily basis, and even think of as healthy? Sugar is found in breads, crackers, salad dressings, condiments like ketchup, pasta, flavored waters and juices, and yogurts.  Reading labels and identifying things like cane sugar, raw sugar, honey, fructose, sucrose, dextrose, starch, lactose, corn syrup and high fructose corn syrup, agave nectar,  all of which are forms of sugar, can help empower us to make different choices that are healthier.

We naturally get sugars from fruits and vegetables. Sugar is another term to describe a simple carbohydrate, or simple sugar. Other carbohydrates, complex carbohydrates, also contain sugar but also have fiber and other nutrients which makes a huge difference in how we process and digest that food.  Essentially simple sugars immediately require us to produce insulin in order to shuttle the glucose into our cells for energy.  Complex carbohydrates, such as sweet potatoes, squashes and other starchy vegetables, contain fiber and have a longer digestive process, essentially creating a more gradual increase in energy. Think about a sugar spike of energy after eating a sweet treat, followed by a crash, versus a more sustained and gradual energy.

Now, here is something interesting about how sugar is stored in the body.

Sugar is changed to glucose and brought to our cells to use immediately for energy.  Any cell in our body can use glucose for energy.  However, our cells have a maximum amount they can use at a time, so any leftover glucose that cannot be used gets converted to glycogen and stored in our muscle tissue and the liver.  The liver and our muscle tissue also have a maximum amount of glycogen that can be stored, SO, any excess glycogen beyond that can be used immediately or stored gets converted into triglycerides, which are fat molecules, and stored in adipose tissue, or fatty tissues in the body for longer term storage.  In other words, if your diet consists of high and consistent amounts of sugar (including all those hidden sources) then likely you are consuming more than can be used or stored as glycogen and thus that excess fuel gets stored as fat.  This is exactly why “diet” and “low-fat” products do not work for weight loss goals.  In fact, they often create more stress on the body in terms of processing high amounts of sugars and preservatives and can lead to unwanted weight gain!

In addition to weight loss, less sugar consumption is healthier for us because we are not stressing our endocrine system with a high need for insulin.

Balancing insulin in the blood has direct effect on the brain where we remain sensitive to sugar and thus do not fall into addictive patterns as mentioned above.  Furthermore, high triglyceride count in the blood is strongly linked to heart disease, diabetes, and stroke.  Limiting sugars to their natural sources like whole fruits and vegetables and avoiding added sugars and excessive refined sugar consumption can not only help you achieve healthy weight goals but also decrease your risk for serious conditions like metabolic syndrome and heart disease.

Francie was recently quoted in this article by Deborah Busemeyer that appeared in the Healthy Living Magazine of the Santa Fe New Mexican.

Are you thinking about leaving the corporate rat race and going out on your own?Do you have big dreams but little direction? We can help! Our conscious entrepreneur method is the perfect way to start your entrepreneurial journey. Striking out on your own can be scary, with no clear map of the road ahead. Follow your dreams and bring abundance into your life with our expert guidance.

Do you already own a business?
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Francie will help you clarify your vision, identify your strengths and weaknesses and help you develop a plan to achieve your goals.

Contact Francie now to schedule a free 30-minute consultation.

Conscious Wellness has two openings for health consultation and counseling beginning Summer 2016.I use a holistic framework to educate my clients about how and what to eat in order to feel energized, grounded and well nourished. I help them to create habits that support their health and wellness goals. This includes counseling and education around holistic nutrition, meal planning and the connection between food and mood. I help my clients to identify the core values in their lives and to understand how emotional eating can affect the realization of their goals. I help my clients develop strategies around food that support their vision for wellness in a meaningful and sustainable way.

I coach my clients on creating the life they want within the life they have by bringing consciousness to their health. I help them bring awareness to their daily habits and determine whether their habits nourish or deplete. I help them find joy within the fullness of their lives.

I will support and coach you in achieving your health and wellness goals using simple techniques you can incorporate into your daily life. I will help you to identify what is most meaningful in your life and help you make your self-care a priority.
Sessions are available in person in Santa Fe, NM or by phone or Skype.

Contact Francie now to schedule a free 30-minute consultation.

Peace is not a synonym for agreement. Peace is a quality of stillness and acceptance. When we can stop placing our mind’s conditions of peace onto the world, then we can be at peace. When we can let go of the grip we have on our own agenda and find a deeper trust in our lives that is bigger than anything we could have imagined, then we are entertaining peace. We don’t “fight” for peace. In peace, there is no againstness. Peace does not exist when something else stops existing. Peace is in the stillness that is already here. Are you listening for it? Are you able to let go when things don’t go the way you want? It’s hard, I know. We get so invested in our plans and our hopes for ourselves and for others. We get confused and we think that we are being loving. What if loving was much simpler? What if there was no effort in loving, as loving just…..is? Peace.

Orienting ourselves towards peace and loving helps us navigate from an empowered and uplifted state. Imagine, every morning, taking a moment to refocus on your loving nature. Imagine taking a breath, or two, or ten, that was only devoted to peace, to stillness. How might this small activity shift things for you? How might you choose differently in your morning routine? What would stay the same?

It’s simple. Not easy. There are many distractions. And the distractions are not going anywhere, and likely will become more compelling. Bringing down inflammation is very much about choosing healthy foods, and it is also about soothing what is inflamed within us. When we attend to the fight within than we are really making progress for our own wellness. So how do you do that?

We have to give up the luxury of thinking the problem lies outside of us. Catch yourself when you blame them, or him, or her, or anything external for being the problem. Instead, turn your gaze inward. The answer to your discontent does not lie outside of you. Peace is not about managing your reality into a fragile harmony. It is about soothing the conflict within.

Where is your inner conflict?
Where are you judging yourself?
Where are you pressuring yourself?
Where are you suppressing your feelings?
When are you telling yourself you are unsafe, unlovable, no good, a failure? How are you hard on yourself?

The willingness to explore this terrain is critical.

What is also critical is the willingness to let go of the inner conflict.The idea that letting go of all the ways you control and manage yourself with judgments, criticism and fear will most certainly lead to you being out of control and worse off than you are now is how fear maintains its grip on you. We must challenge this kind of thinking, and start to consider what it might be like to trust in yourself.

Trust is essential and many of us early on had reasons not to trust. I get it. Me too. And so the journey back into trust becomes all the more worthwhile. It is possible to stop living in fear. Fear of messing up, saying the wrong thing, getting fat, being rejected or abandoned. Yup, all that is there. For most of us. And it does not have to rule you. It does not have to be your boss. Consider that everything so far in your life has brought you right to this very moment. Right to the place where you are starting to consider that you are worth more than you thought you were. Consider that every hardship has been in service to your own awakening into a deeper understanding of yourself. You can trust yourself and you can trust your life.

Everything in your life, on the micro and macro levels, is working for you.Every disturbance, irritant, discontent, is grist for the mill. It is a stepping stone for you to reach deeper into yourself than ever before, past all the pressuring and judging and attachments. The world is for your own liberation. Liberation is the opposite of control. Beyond liberation lies peace.

Use your lifetime to find your own liberation. I believe this is what deeply serves the world. More so than our anger and our cynicism ever could. It is exciting to me to think of where your liberation might lead you. What might you create? How might you treat yourself and others? Ultimately we each have the opportunity to genuinely love our lives and love ourselves. So cultivate peace from the inside out. Do whatever it takes and then observe the changes in yourself and the world. Then tell us all about it.

There is a lot of talk about brain health happening these days.

The excitement is that we are really beginning to see connections in the way we live and what we eat and how that affects our brains.  And brains are not just for thinking and problem solving – they control our moods (depression, anxiety, irritability, low patience), our energy levels, whether we can manage the stressors well in our lives, our tolerance for stimulation (noise, smells, touch, movement), our physical coordination and balance, and many many other things that absolutely affect the quality of our day to day lives.  So, if you knew that certain foods create inflammation in the brain and increased our likelihood to be depressed or anxious or fatigued, would you give them up?  And if you knew there were certain foods that protected your brain from inflammation and toxicity which in turn would improve your mood, would you eat them?  I know I would! Simple changes in our diet can go a long way towards feeling great.

Omega-3 fats are essential for good brain health and incorporating more of them into your diet can help to improve your mood. Omega-3 fat consumption is also associated with prevention of cognitive decline.  The standard american diet is chronically deficient in Omega-3 fats and way too high in Omega-6 fats (interestingly we are seeing rates of neurodegenerative diseases like Alzheimer’s on the rise which may have a lot to do with how inflammatory the standard american diet is).  High amounts of Omega-6 fat tips the balance towards high levels of toxicity (free radicals) in the brain which results in inflammation in the brain, which affects our mood and many other things.  Increasing our intake of Omega-3 fats is the best way to address this imbalance.  It is also important to know that balancing our source of Omega-3 fats from both plant and animal sources is beneficial especially as we get older because the enzymes used to convert the vegetarian sources of Omega-3s into the essential fatty acids DHA and EPA decline as we age.

Here are some of the best sources of Omega-3 fats:

• Salmon and other cold water fish (mackerel, herring, sardines, anchovies)
• Chia and Hemp Seeds
• Walnuts
• Extra Virgin Olive Oil
• Supplementation*
  *while we are focusing mainly on food in this article, supplementation for Omega-3s such as a high quality fish oil can help us get the adequate amount of Omega-3 fats that we need for optimal brain health since our typical American diets are so deprived of this essential nutrient that  it can be difficult to get enough just from food sources.

Here are some ways to incorporate more healthy Omega-3 fats and improve your mood with food:

• Add chia seeds to your morning smoothie

Recipe idea:
Blend 2 ripe bananas, ½ can coconut milk or 1 cup of milk of your choice, 1 cup plain kefir or plain yogurt, 2 TB almond butter, 1 TB chia seeds, 1 cup fresh or frozen berries (blueberries or raspberries recommended), and 2 cups ice. For added flavor add few drops of vanilla extract or honey to sweeten.

• Carry chia or hemp seeds with you to sprinkle on salads or into yogurt
• Incorporate a daily supplement of good quality fish oil
• Eat more salmon
• Incorporate sardines and anchovies into snacks and meals
  

Recipe idea:
Try making your own Caesar salad dressing! (Minced garlic, fresh squeezed lemon, 2-3 chopped anchovies, 1 raw pastured egg yolk, extra virgin olive oil, 1 tsp dried mustard, ½ cup organic shredded Romano cheese (omit for dairy free). Whisk together in large salad bowl until desired taste and consistency, then toss in chopped romaine lettuce. Top with another ½ cup shredded Romano if desired.) Delicious with fresh grilled salmon!

• For daily butter use an organic pastured butter
  (organic, pastured butter does not have the toxicity from chemical, antibiotic and hormone exposures, and because the cows are not fed grains the butter is lower in Omega-6 and higher in Omega-3s.)
• Buy cheaper fattier cuts of organic, grass-fed, meat to save money, and if you need to buy conventional meat buy leaner cuts.
  Fats hold essential nutrients for us, but conventional meats contain large amounts of toxins in their fat as well from their exposures to pesticide and herbicide grains, antibiotics and added hormones. 
• Replace raisins with currants.
  In general it is best to lower our intake of sugar, which dried fruits can be a high source of sugar, but for the occasional sweet treat use currants for the higher antioxidant levels to bring down toxicity from free radicals and reduce the effects of too much Omega-6.
  

Recipe idea:
Try this yummy quick recipe for healthy currants and healthy fat: Mix together ½ cup coconut oil, ¼ cup coconut flour, ½ cup dried currants (or dried blueberries!), 2 TB collagen protein powder, 1 tsp cinnamon, 1 TB maple syrup. Pour into small muffin tin for mini “muffins” and freeze for 15 minutes.

Eating for wellness is really delicious!

When we start incorporating these essential nutrients into our diets and naturally let go of convenience foods that have been highly processed and refined, we bring in more nourishment and pleasure with eating.  Enjoy trying these suggestions and adapting them and making them your own!  As always, I’d love to hear your discoveries in the comments whether it is yummy recipes or changes you’ve made with your brain health through diet.

For more nutritional science on brain health and recipes check out my book, "Eat to Beat Alzheimer’s: Delicious Recipes and New Research to Prevent and Slow Dementia."

The book is jam-packed with easy to read science and suggestions, as well as great everyday recipes that are for anyone wanting to improve their brain health and bring down chronic inflammation.  Here’s to happy and healthy eating for happy and healthy brains!

These terms are meant to describe a physiological situation in which the systems designed to help us respond and deal with stress become compromised.  The adrenal glands, which sit atop our kidneys, secrete a hormone called cortisol when we are experiencing any form of stress.  Cortisol helps shift things physiologically (such as suppressing digestion, fertility and blood circulation and turning on fight, flight and flee mechanisms) to that we can “survive” the stress at hand.  This is an incredible system for us surviving acute stressful situations.  However, chronic stress over time is not conducive to long-term health. When cortisol is chronically high, or even chronically low (which can happen after too much output over too long of a time) we suffer for it.

Possible symptoms of adrenal fatigue, or what is more accurately termed hypothalamic pituitary axis (HPA) dysfunction, can mimic other symptoms of chronic illness. HPA dysfunction, turns out is not simply about fatigued adrenals, but about a delicate interplay of hormones and feedback systems within the brain that becomes maladaptive.  It is highly recommended to work with a skilled practitioner and get accurate testing done in order to identify any issues with your HPA axis.  However, it can be reasonably assumed that if you suffer from any kind of chronic illness, addressing the health and functioning of your HPA axis is a critical must for regaining your health.  

In addition to testing, if you suffer from any of the following, it may indicate as well an HPA dysfunction:

• Fatigue, especially being tired when waking up even after adequate hours of sleep
  
• Difficulty falling asleep or difficulty staying asleep
  
• Waking up with heart pounding and on alert
  
• Poor memory or brain fog (difficulty concentrating)
  
• Agitation when hungry, quickly and urgently needing food (being “hangry”)
  
• Increased colds and flu (lowered immune system overall)
  
• Being dizzy when standing up
  
• Cold hands and feet (result of decrease in blood flow to peripheral organs)
  
• Low libido
  
• Weight gain or loss
  

You may find this resource on HPA dysfunction helpful for exploring the above in more depth.)

There are multiple causes for HPA dysfunction and some of those we have control over and others we do not. One huge factor is disrupted circadian rhythms, and disrupted sleep.  Therefore, a powerful step one can take to address HPA dysfunction and begin reducing symptoms is to start prioritizing sleep by getting enough sleep and getting good quality sleep.  

Lets look at some ways you can start to make small changes that will have big impacts on your quality of sleep, which in turn will support your overall health.

• Go to bed.
  Even getting into bed 15 minutes earlier than your usual will be helpful, and it is an easy, do-able step to make.  Continuing to implement an earlier bedtime over time at 15 minute intervals is a gradual way for meeting your optimal bedtime goal so that you are getting the amount of sleep you really need.
  
• Dim the lights.
  Minimizing artificial light at the end of the day will support your brain’s release of melatonin and encourage more restful and deep sleep.  So turn off lights, or turn them down.  Let natural light be your guide as much as possible for going to bed and waking up.
  
• Turn off the screens.
  Screens, like iphones, ipads, and computers are a source of artificial light that is particularly disruptive to our brains at night, delaying the release of melatonin which signals us to sleep, rest, and restore.  It actually keeps us awake when we really need to be asleep!
  
• Read a good book and limit television watching too.
  Watching disturbing or stimulating movies, television programs, and the news in the evening will put us into a stress response, which is the opposite of where we want to be when heading to bed.  Think about going to sleep like parking your car in the garage.  You need to slow the car way down before pulling it into the garage and turning off the engine.
  
• Avoid eating right before bed.
  Not eating food at least 2 hours before going to bed gives your body a chance to digest your last meal.  Going to bed with food in your stomach creates a dilemma for the body where we either delay sleep in order to digest, or we delay digestion in order to sleep.  Either way, these two needs are in conflict.  Of course, this is bound to happen from time to time and will not essentially “harm” us, but consider changing your routine if you are in the habit of eating a dessert, or late night snack before bed.  Chronically stressing our systems is where that stress can start to pile up.
  
• Your last meal.
  What you have for dinner can help support sounder sleep as well.  Attempt to have adequate protein, healthy appropriate amount of fat, and carbohydrate balance with your meal. Giving your body what you need nutritionally will create satiety and you will be less likely to have a sugar crash during the night, or wake up hungry in the night as well.  Read more here.
  
• Just right.
  Eating just the right amount is also a key, as under-eating as well as over-eating (eating too much at once) are both stressors for the gut and digestive systems.  Not to mention this can lead to uncomfortable symptoms like gas and bloating which in and of themselves can interfere with restful sleep.  A general rule to follow is to eat a well-balanced meal and eat until you are 80% full.
  
• Finally, shoot for at least 8 hours of sleep. It is a myth that we are fine on 6 hours or less.  
  In fact, some people even need 9-10 hours of sleep a night for optimal functioning.  It’s time to let go of pushing ourselves to be chronically productive and achieving because the cost of that is deeply compromising our health.  And, getting the hours of sleep each night that you need can actually give us more efficiency during the day.  Consider that being effective isn’t a matter of hours on the clock, but the quality and optimal functioning we can bring to our tasks.
  

(Read more about healthy sleep and why it is important here.)

Not only can adequate sleep help resolve any dysfunction in your HPA (your stress response) but it can also be restorative in areas you wouldn’t think about.

When our bodies perceive chronic stress and have a lowered resilience to stress (due to HPA dysfunction) it will shut down, or limit its resources in areas of the body not necessary for immediate survival.  This includes the digestive system, reproductive system, and detox systems.  Circulation of life giving blood gets limited and rationed.  Getting enough quality sleep, regularly, can not only provide you with more energy and brain function during the day but can also improve your ability to absorb essential vitamins and nutrients (which in turn help you look and feel your best), can increase your libido and nourish your intimate relationships (good sex is good for you!), and also supports you getting out toxins which we are exposed to every single day (additives in foods, chemicals in our buildings, furniture, water and air).  All in all, supporting our critical need for sleep lays a powerfully strong foundation for health and wellness that will positively inform the quality of your life.

What would you be searching for?  Money?  Connections?  Pleasure? Relief? Love?  Beauty? Those are just a few ideas, but we are all wired to think of “treasure” as something worth getting and that something is different for everyone.  But it is a set up isn’t it?  Because if we have defined success, or getting the treasure, as something, like feeling happy for example, then what happens when we have a day that is full of grief?  I mean, life happens right?  So does that day of grief get labeled as a “bad” day in our minds?  Often, it does.  And we are socially conditioned to do this, to label our day as a “good” day or a “bad” day.  And let’s be honest, but isn’t a “good” day just a day that happens to go our way?

How about just experiencing whatever day we are having and letting go of the label of good or bad?
What if, every single day, no matter what is happening, is a treasure hunt, and that treasure is simply, peace.  In other words, how can we find the peace in every day?

Being at peace with what is happening does not mean we are passive about things that upset us or need changing.
It does mean being at peace with our own response to that particular day.  If there is something upsetting in the news for you that day, then there is a choice.  You can think its “bad” and therefore you will have a “bad” day, or you can accept what you are feeling (not so much thinking) and use it to get to know yourself more deeply, and build compassion for yourself.  What are you feeling when you are upset by the news?  Sadness?  Disappointment?  Anger?  And then under the anger, is it fear?  Powerlessness?

Empathy builds when we acknowledge the feeling that is present without judging it as bad or wrong or trying to fix or solve it.

First we allow the feeling to be present and recognize that it’s likely pretty normal to have such a response.  Next we can ask ourselves the question, “what do I need today?”

Here are some ideas to help you find your way.

1. Pause.
   Ok, push the pause button on yourself.  We can push pause when we are getting irritated rather quickly, feeling or being “snappy”, in resistance to going somewhere or doing something, feeling “tense”, or even and especially when we are rushing.
2. Observe.
   Just take a moment, it doesn’t have to be very long – a few minutes.  And observe yourself.  What do you notice?  How is your body feeling?  Are you tense?  Or relaxed?  When you bring your attention to your feelings what do you notice?  Are you able to identify your feelings?
3. Put your hand on your heart.
   This simple gesture can be helpful in bringing you more in touch with your feelings.  We are so good at denying our feelings and continuing on in spite of them, but sometimes we need to stop and listen to how we are doing.  By placing your hand on your physical heart we can tune in more deeply to our emotional heart and what lies within it.
4. Be curious.
   It is important to take this time for yourself.  You are not being selfish and you should not feel guilty for taking the time.  It is essential to know yourself and taking the time with yourself is how you build self-awareness. Being selfish is when we don’t practice self-awareness and then we inherently ask others to take the burden of our feelings through our acting out.  When we become self-aware of our own feeling state, then we have a choice for how to behave in response to it.
5. Express yourself in private (first).
   Stuff comes up in relationships right?  But most of the time it can be more helpful to say what you feel in private before bringing upset feelings to another.  This gives you a chance for self-empathy and takes the burden off the other person to really hear you (even if you think this is the issue!).  Giving yourself permission to express yourself, uncensored, is liberating and cathartic for feelings.  It can also bring us to deeper understanding of what is really going on for us.  So write in a journal or talk out loud in a setting that is private.
6. Identify needs.
   Once we are connected to our feelings, we are more likely to connect to our need.  If you feel powerless, perhaps you have a need for action.  If you feel angry, you may have a need for boundaries.  If you feel sad, perhaps you need quiet time, or connection with a loved one.  When we can identify the need then we are empowered to meet our own needs and make clear requests in relationships for our needs.
7. Let go of pressure.
   We are so good at being hard on ourselves.  We can pressure ourselves to be smarter, to be richer, to be thinner, to be faster, to be more successful, and on and on. It can be a never ending barrage of internal bullying.  Consider that you are doing just fine.  In fact you are doing your best with what you have.  Let go of pressuring yourself to perform and meet the ideal.  When we can let that go, we are in a position to really listen to ourselves and be guided from a more authentic place within.  This is not a race.  It is a journey.  And it’s your journey.
   
8. And finally.
   Where is your treasure in all of this?  Is it in slowing down like you’ve been wanting to do?  Is it in finally having a good, cleansing cry and getting to the other side of your grief?  Is it the feeling of empowerment when you realize you can set a boundary and you will (and then you do)? Is it in that quiet moment after you stopped rushing that you noticed something beautiful?  Or when you felt more connected to yourself?  Your partner?  Your children?  

It could be the guidance you received from your self investigation, leading you in a new and enlivening direction.  Or it could be the simple awareness that something does need to change, even if you don’t know what that is just yet.  The good news is you are listening now, and not leaving yourself behind in your efforts to attain some idea of success (more money, cleaner fancier house) or someone else’s expectations of you.  You are living your life and letting that deepen into something more enriching than before because every part of you matters and exists for a reason.  Even the tired and irritable part. We need only be willing to listen and hear the underlying message.

Life becomes more complex and stressful when we don’t allow ourselves expression to be the full spectrum of who we are as human beings.

We simply cannot afford the luxury of suppression any longer.  This doesn’t mean we can explode with abandon.  In fact, emotional explosions tend to be the result of long term suppression.

It does mean we take stock on a daily basis, and work to surrender our agenda for our lives, or the day, and open up to the bigger picture of who we are and what life might have planned for us.

It’s not easy.  But it can be magical to set aside all the ways we attempt to control ourselves and our day to day.  What happens then?  Well, go ahead and see.  And share with me about it, if you want, in the comments.